Category: Goals

Start where you are. Do what you can.

Posted on by Cheryl

It isn’t a journey if you never start.

So, Let’s get STARTED!!!

This is the part of the journey where things got serious. In November of 2022 I ran the Outer Banks Marathon in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina in what turned out to be a Boston Qualifying time. The application window for entry into Boston 2024 closed and I made it, even with the big gap between qualifying times and accepted times. Queue the fireworks! The next step was training well, staying injury free and making it there. ✅ Then came race day and…

Woo Hoo, I finished, but wow, it kicked my ass, and I am not happy. I made some serious mistakes and now it’s time to make amends.

Boston Marathon, Take 2 – Let’s do this!!! A peek at my upcoming training.

NaNoWriMo* – Day 19 of 30

Posted on by Cheryl

If you’ve been following along with me during this 30-Day Challenge, you may be wondering if I abandoned my running and training plan.

I’m happy to report that I am still running and training!!!

My current 30-challenge; however has revolved around developing the discipline to write every day. So that has resulted in a jumbled set of posts that don’t really follow any pattern, but I am so thrilled that to-date I have posted EVERY DAY for the last 19 days!!!

That in itself is a win for me, since I usually am very good at “issuing challenges”, but not necessarily great at execution and follow-through! So with 11 days remaining, I hope you will stick with me and understand that I am mainly writing with a “stream of consciousness” approach. Whatever comes to mind that particular day is what ends up in my post 😎

But about the training… today Coach Amy instructed me to run 3 miles EASY with a 2-minute warm-up and a 2-minute cool-down. Not only did I accomplish that, I did it pushing a stroller (with our grandson – a super cute running partner)!!!

Stay with me, I’m about to turn the corner and see the finish line!!!

*NaNoWriMo is an annual event that challenges you to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month! Crazy right? Not everyone uses the challenge to write a novel – we are called NaNoRebels. For example, I challenged myself to write one blog post every day for a month and that is what you are seeing in these NaNoWriMo posts!!!

NaNoWriMo* – Day 15 of 30

Posted on by Cheryl

Pushing through the Valley of Despair!

Psychologists Don Kelley and Daryl Connor describe “The Emotional Cycle of Change,” as following five stages. It’s a model that Brian P. Moran refers to in his book “The 12-Week Year” and one that I have found very applicable to setting and reaching goals.

Since today finds me squatting in the Valley, I thought it would be appropriate to share this information – perhaps it will help you as it does me!!!

A little insight into why we might be falling into a negative state can help us see a way to the next positive state!!!

The Emotional Cycle of Change and my thoughts…

1 – Uninformed Optimism: Starting something new – it’s fun and exciting. You don’t see any of the potential downsides to your goal/challenge. You pass quickly through this stage.

2 – Informed Pessimism: Newness has worn off – you’re thinking “Is this really worth the effort? What am I missing out on because I’m spending time here?”

3 – Valley of Despair: Negative thoughts have peaked and any potential benefits still seem a long way off. This is where most people throw in the towel because it just isn’t worth it. And if you quit here, you get to go back to the fun stage (and repeat the cycle). If you have a compelling vision it will help you push through the Valley of Despair.

4 – Informed Optimism: Your work is starting to pay off. Fun is returning to what you are focusing on. You can see a finish line in the distance. Time to accelerate your efforts!

5 – Successful Completion: You can look back with satisfaction on a goal/challenge/task achieved. YAY!!!

If I continue to focus on doing the necessary daily actions/tasks (writing every morning and following my coach’s training plan for running) I feel confident that I will “PUSH THROUGH” to successful completion!!!

How about you?

Where are you in this chart? Let me know in the comments below!

*NaNoWriMo is an annual event that challenges you to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month! Crazy right? Not everyone uses the challenge to write a novel – we are called NaNoRebels. For example, I challenged myself to write one blog post every day for a month and that is what you are seeing in these NaNoWriMo posts!!!

NaNoWriMo* – Day 13 of 30

Posted on by Cheryl

Do External Rewards work?

There is an ongoing debate… as to whether extrinsic or intrinsic rewards are best. Let’s take a closer look.

Extrinsic Motivation

  • Participating in a sport to win awards (ME)
  • Cleaning your room to avoid being reprimanded by your parents
  • Competing in a contest to win a scholarship (ME)
  • Studying because you want to get a good grade (ME) or avoid a failing grade
  • Working hard to close as many deals as possible to earn the highest commission (ME)

Intrinsic Motivation

  • Participating in a sport because you find the activity enjoyable
  • Cleaning your room because you like tidying up (ME)
  • Solving a word puzzle because you find the challenge fun and exciting
  • Studying a subject you find fascinating
  • Closing as many deals as possible to help the greatest number of people with their challenges

It appears that intrinsic rewards lean mostly positive; while extrinsic motivators can be either positive (the carrot) or negative (the stick).

As with other things in life, we all come to our particular situation with differences in genetics, personality, backgrounds, upbringings, world experiences and much more. I believe these also play a role in our responses to different types of rewards.

My very personal and one-person survey reveals that I respond best to POSITIVE-TYPES OF EXTRINSIC REWARDS.

And so, knowing myself and that I get excited, energized and fiercely determined when I see the reward of a finish line and a “YOU DID IT” recognition of some sort, I will set about creating a positive external reward system for myself.

I’ll share what I come up with in an upcoming post and if you find yourself in a similar camp, I’ll be happy to pass it along to you!

Cheers to all you other positively externally motivated individuals!!!

*NaNoWriMo is an annual event that challenges you to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month! Crazy right? Not everyone uses the challenge to write a novel – we are called NaNoRebels. For example, I challenged myself to write one blog post every day for a month and that is what you are seeing in these NaNoWriMo posts!!!

NaNoWriMo* – Day 12 of 30

Posted on by Cheryl

How my Polish Grandma launched my running career

Here is my Polish Grandma Nellie with me (back left) and my siblings. Grandma was born in 1892 and sadly she’s long since passed away; however my memory of her is still very strong.

When my siblings and I were younger, we visited her every week to help her around the house since my grandpa has passed away much earlier. My Mom would talk to her in Polish to write down her grocery list and we would go shop for her and bring the groceries back. This may amaze you, but she never drove a car in her entire life. And since there were no grocery delivery services back then, we filled the “instacart” role in her life.

When we got back from the grocery store, Grandma would have a plate piled high with ham sandwiches waiting for us. The bread was lavishly buttered (with real butter of course) and a bowl of pickles stood nearby. There were pastries for afterwards – kolacky cookies if it was around a holiday and that was a real treat.

Oh how she loved to see us eat.

Every time we visited, she would remark, “Chattle, you’re too skinny, eat, eat!” Her Polish accent transformed my name Cheryl in such an endearing way – I can still hear her voice with her accent and it warms my heart.

So went the visits and always, “Chattle, you’re too skinny, eat, eat!” That is, until after my freshman year of College.

It was my first visit of the summer and I was looking forward to that lavishly buttered ham sandwich. When we arrived, my grandma pinched my cheek (as she always did) and with a huge smile on her face exclaimed, “Chattle, you finally fat!!!”

I was horrified 😲

And so began my running career.

The rest of that summer I trudged around the perimeter of the local golf course and slowly (and I mean slowly) became a runner.

Back at school in the Fall, I signed up for my first 10k. I didn’t even know what that meant but my college roommate had run cross country in High School and she became my running mentor.

Now, I’m not saying I became a good runner or a fast runner, just that I was beginning to see and feel how running could possibly be just what I needed to continue to enjoy all those college carbs without piling on the weight.

Thanks Grandma! You were my very first motivational coach 😍

*If you’re wondering what NaNoWriMo is… it stands for National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo is an annual event that began in 1999 as a challenge to writers to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month! Whew, crazy right? Not everyone uses this challenge to write a novel. Take me for example, I signed up for NaNoWriMo and challenged myself to write one blog post every day for a month and that is what you are seeing in these NaNoWriMo posts!!!

NaNoWriMo* – Day 10 of 30

Posted on by Cheryl

First NaNoWriMo milestone!

When I started this 30 day writing challenge as a way to motivate me to blog about my life-long goal, I wasn’t sure if I would make it past a week. But here I am, 10 days in and I haven’t even cheated haha!

3 things have helped me stick with it so far…

1 – I shared what I was doing with others and made it visible through the NaNoWriMo site.

2 – I started writing at the same time and in the same place every day. I actually started doing this only 3 days ago, but that’s when I seriously felt I was in danger of throwing in the towel on the challenge. I call it “my bunker” and it adds an element of fun to say, “hey, I’m heading to my bunker to do my writing”. Maybe there’s something to that. Anyway, if you’re doing the NaNoWriMo thing, I would encourage you to find a place and time of day you can do your thing regularly.

Disclaimer on the Bunker idea – be prepared for snide remarks from others close to you if you exit the bunker during your scheduled time. Thanks for the support Pete, but I really had to go to the bathroom 😒

3 – I check in at NaNoWriMo to see if I’ve gotten any reward badges which are goofy but oddly encouraging. I know there’s research to support both camps – external and intrinsic rewards, but heck I say if it works do it! We are not a one-size fits all world, so you need to find what works for you!!!

The reward thing has me thinking of re-visiting an idea I had awhile back – more in the posts to come.

One third of the way there and feeling strong!

Since running is actually the point of my blog, here’s a quick update on how yesterday’s “Tired Run” went…

2-minute warmup jogging lightly ✔

3 miles at best effort – don’t overdo it ✔

2-minute cool down jogging lightly ✔

DURING THE HARD 3 MILES THE ADRENALINE EFFECT KICKED IN WHEN I PASSED 2 SLOW-WALKING NEIGHBORS AND THEY REMARKED… “WOW, YOU’RE FAST”

Note to self… Align future runs with the day and time those neighbors are walking 😉

Can you tell I just figured out how to use the built-in system emojis? 🤣

  • Windows devices: Windows Key + the period
  • On a Mac: Command + Control + Space

Can’t wait to introduce you to my Polish Grandma – I think you’ll ♥ her 😘

In the meantime, comment below where your “Bunker” is. Mine is in the grandkids room.

*If you’re wondering what NaNoWriMo is… it stands for National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo is an annual event that began in 1999 as a challenge to writers to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month! Whew, crazy right? Not everyone uses this challenge to write a novel. Take me for example, I signed up for NaNoWriMo and challenged myself to write one blog post every day for a month and that is what you are seeing in these NaNoWriMo posts!!!

NaNoWriMo* – Day 6 of 30

Posted on by Cheryl

If you’ve been following my NaNoWriMo posts over the last 5 days, you may be wondering if I will ever get to the subject of running, seeing as that is the supposed focus of my blog. Well, here we go.

You know how sometimes…

You get all excited about a race that you worked hard to prepare for and then something happens to derail you? Maybe it’s an illness or an injury or a family event or a world event or a sudden feeling that you’ve reached a bit too far beyond your current readiness. Whatever it is, the excitement has now been turned sideways and you are deciding how to proceed.

So that is the state I find myself in right now.

I was planning on running Chicago 2020 in my next attempt to qualify for an entry into the Boston Marathon. If you are not living on a secluded island (and maybe even if you are), you know that 2020 turned sideways for a lot of people. In my case, it’s only a setback. I know that others’ lives have been truly devastated in far more significant ways and for those people I will always feel an incredible sadness, yet I too feel a sense of sadness and loss.

For me, I know I have to create a strategy for moving forward. Taking what I’ve learned from my research into why I don’t finish things and my research into strategies for changing that, I need to analyze my goal and put it through a few tests.

First, I’ll examine whether this is a goal worth pursuing…

1 – Is this challenge around something that I love? YES RUNNING!

2 – Will it be easy? DEFINITELY NOT!

3 – Is there intrinsic motivation? That is, will I enjoy the journey, even if I fall short of the finish line? With help from readers like you, I think I can say YES! I’m hoping to connect with other like-minded goal-seekers who are stretching to reach a life-long goal and that in itself will be hugely rewarding!

If you apply these same 3 questions to your goal/challenge, make sure that if it’s not going to be easy, it is around something you love AND that you’re confident you will get joy from the journey!

Next, I’ll apply some strategies to increase the odds that I will finish…

1 – Estimate how long it will take to reach this goal and multiply by 3. Interesting. When I first thought about this goal in 2017, I thought it would take me 1 year of hard, focused training and then by running the 2018 Chicago Marathon, I would punch my entry ticket to Boston.

What happened you ask?

I did start training in 2017 and I did run the 2018 Chicago Marathon; however, I injured myself 5 weeks before the race (that’s a story for another post) and my time of 4:31 did not come near a qualifying entry.

Following this advice, I need 3 years of training and 3 total attempts at qualifying. I think this is sound advice as I’ve found that my training “base” hasn’t been as easy to build as I originally thought. Ok, I’m down with this. Chicago to Boston qualifier in 2 more years. We can do this – notice how I’ve already added you to my team 🙂 I want to be a part of your training team too, so comment below what you are training for!

2 – Based on the estimate above, decide if it’s worth starting (or in my case, continuing). I am locked and loaded and definitely committed. I think the journey with others who are stretching themselves to reach a long-term, lifelong goal will be worth all the time and effort. How about you?

*If you’re wondering what NaNoWriMo is… it stands for National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo is an annual event that began in 1999 as a challenge to writers to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month! Whew, crazy right? Not everyone uses this challenge to write a novel. Take me for example, I signed up for NaNoWriMo and challenged myself to write one blog post every day for a month and that is what you are seeing in these NaNoWriMo posts!!!

I’d love to here the exciting journeys you are embarking on!!! Let me know in the comments below!

NaNoWriMo* – Day 5 of 30

Posted on by Cheryl

Words of Wisdom for those Down Days

When I am in danger of falling into the doldrums, I stop and take 12 minutes and 44 seconds to re-watch this TED Talk. I always changes my day for the better. Maybe it will for you too.

This video was from December of 2013.

Sam Berns, was 17 and a Junior at Foxboro High School in Foxboro Massachusetts when he passed in January of 2014.

He had Progeria, a rare, rapid aging disease which was diagnosed when he was just 2. He is featured in the Emmy award-winning documentary Life According to Sam. That HBO documentary premiered 2 days before his 17th birthday on October 21, 2013.

He leaves behind wisdom that transcends his age.

His words of wisdom summarized…

1 – Focus on the things you CAN do, instead of those that you can’t.

2 – Surround yourself with people that you truly enjoy being with and appreciate each and every one of them.

3 – Keep moving forward.

BONUS advice from Sam – never miss a party!!!

Thanks Sam – truly great advice for living a full and happy life.

*If you’re wondering what NaNoWriMo is… it stands for National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo is an annual event that began in 1999 as a challenge to writers to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month! Whew, crazy right? Not everyone uses this challenge to write a novel. Take me for example, I signed up for NaNoWriMo and challenged myself to write one blog post every day for a month and that is what you are seeing in these NaNoWriMo posts!!!

NaNoWriMo* – Day 4 of 30

Posted on by Cheryl

After determining the WHY it’s time to explore the HOW!

So, in my situation, I’ve determined that boredom is one of the biggest reasons I end up shelving various tasks, projects or challenges that I start. See Day 3 of NaNoWriMo for the details!

A little research turned up these 3 strategies for increasing my odds of finishing things…

STRATEGY #1 – Apply a little psychology

1 – Search for patterns in past unfinished projects.  List every past project you can remember. Note why you started the activity, and when and why you stopped. Notice any reoccurring themes? (This would take me WAY too long, so I skipped this tip.)

2 – Research your next project before jumping in.  Try to identify what others have experienced when attempting a similar goal. This can help with recognizing unrealistic project goals. (Probably not going to take the time to do this one either.)

3 – Know yourself and be realistic. Setting goals you can’t possibly achieve, while insisting you can, sets you up for failure. (This is at odds with my personality, because my favorite quote is “Shoot for the Moon, even if you miss, you will land among the Stars.”)

4 – Make a timeline or list the steps needed to finish the project.  Focus on specific efforts you can apply towards the ultimate goal, like so many words per day, hours per week, etc. (I do see the value in this one – will try to put this one into action.)

5 – Identify intrinsic motivations for achieving this goal.  Identify the rewards that you will get from the journey. This will help if it’s taking longer than expected to complete things. (I have an inspiration block in my office that states “The Journey is the Reward”, so this definitely aligns with my personality; unfortunately, It hasn’t helped me finish my projects so far!)

STRATEGY #2 – Find an Accountability Partner

The American Society of Training and Development found that people are 65 percent likely to meet a goal after committing to another person, and their chances of success increase to 95 percent when they schedule ongoing meetings with their partners to check in on their progress. (I do agree with this because in the past when I’ve done this, I definitely had a higher completion percentage!)

According to Jocelyn J. Jones of “Faith on the Journey” (and most people would probably agree), too many of us fail to take this crucial step when starting out on a new venture. Having friends and mentors in your life help to make sure you keep the promises you make to yourself!!! (100% agree – will implement this as well)

STRATEGY #3 – Start fewer things and kick the perfection habit!

Taken from ideas in the book “Essentialism – The Disciplined Pursuit of Less” by Greg McKeown..

Most people would agree that starting new things can be exciting. Our brain sends us feel good signals when we are starting something new. And of course because it feels good, we repeat the behavior that results in that feeling. Unfortunately, once the excitement fades we tend to lose interest in things we don’t really care about, so we set them aside, half-completed. There they sit on a “to do” list or haunting us in some other way, leading to guilt and then stress.

McKeown suggests that we can break that cycle. How? “Count the full cost,” he says.

When we think about how long it will take to complete something, or how much it will cost, most people grossly underestimate the investment. Been there done that A LOT!

Mr. McKeown suggests that whenever you estimate your investment – multiply it by three. While that sounds like a lot, I feel like from my own experience, it’s pretty spot on. McKeown himself has found this little trick to be “absolutely” accurate when making realistic estimates.

Making more realistic estimates of how much time or money this “new thing” is going to cost you will help you be more selective of what you decide to start, leading to you starting fewer things! Fewer things started, fewer unfinished projects. Wow – this makes too much sense 🙂

Once you’ve identified that the task, project, challenge or goal is “worth the full cost”, how do you increase the odds that you don’t abandon it the first time you come up against an obstacle to completing it?

One of the big reasons we hit obstacles is that many of us seek perfection (I’m definitely guilty of this). So kick the perfection habit and go for… DONE, FINISHED, COMPLETE.

Summary of what will help me finish more of what I start…

  • Do a mental calculation of how much time a new venture will take and multiple it times 3!!!
  • Based on the cost, decide if it is worth starting! If it’s a go, continue with the next strategies.
  • Make a timeline for the project and list any steps required.
  • Focus on enjoying the journey!
  • Find an accountability partner to keep me honest.
  • Kick the perfection habit and finish.

Let’s go finish some stuff!

*If you’re wondering what NaNoWriMo is… it stands for National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo is an annual event that began in 1999 as a challenge to writers to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month! Whew, crazy right? Not everyone uses this challenge to write a novel. Take me for example, I signed up for NaNoWriMo and challenged myself to write one blog post every day for a month and that is what you are seeing in these NaNoWriMo posts!!!